I am no leader...

Song: Stronger by Hillsong Live (by Reuben Morgan and Ben Fielding) - this was one of our worship songs from church this weekend. I had never heard it, but its truth and beauty captured me.

Last weekend my friend James and I had an opportunity to go backpacking at the Suwannee River State Park. That's where this picture came from. We spent Friday night through Sunday morning there. We just hung out on Saturday. It was a great day. We read the Bible, talked, prayed some, meditated, journaled, relaxed. Did you know that there is enough wind current from a sweat bee's wings to make things on the ground move? I don't remember ever observing that before!

"I'm no leader." That statement doesn't seem to fit with what I've put on my own shoulders. I'm not sure what I've been taught all of these years, but I've distilled it down to a bunch of rules that I need to live by that are impossible to meet. One of them is that I have to be a leader. Where? At home and church are where I think I put on the most weight on myself about leadership.

I don't debate that I need rules. The Bible says that one of the marks of one who knows God is that they follow his commandments (just one verse among many for this is 1 John 2:3). But over this weekend I did arrive at something important in the strategy of "leading" my family, wherever that may be in the moment: I am not the leader, I am the first follower of the Lord Jesus Christ.

How do we work?

I am trying to pick up a train of thought that left the station a few days ago. That is difficult to do. I believe I was reading in 1 Corinthians 9. The thought that occured to me originated as an inquiry I believe. I was looking for a connection between Paul's freely (i.e. no monetary charge) preaching of the gospel, his reward having offered it free when commonly speakers of that time would charge for the teaching, and my work today. I go back to 1 Corinthians 7:17-24 and the requirement that a man remain in the condition in which he was called. The best application to my work I could make was that I should do the best work I can regardless of how I am compensated. I live in a place where laws regulate, to a degree, how I am paid. But what if I work only to that degree when I am capable of more? Without usurping another's role, without growing resentful for lack of recognition or anything else, shouldn't I work to the best of my ability for the reward of having done so regardless of my earned wage? I am determined to make it a practice to try and work at a level above where I am. I know this could be tricky, but I believe that if I approach this with God's guidance and with humility and compassion for all involved it is possible.

I was trying to think of a picture that portrayed the saying that "some things aren't always what they seem." That could be a lot of different pictures, so I chose this one. We went whitewater rafting on vacation in June in Tennessee (TN I think, the "expedition" departed from Banner Elk, NC). So anyway, it was June, hot out and you might expect the water to be warm, or at least tolerable. It wasn't. The guide told us that the water was likely 40 degrees. With the guide's consent (encouragement) I jumped in. Wow, I've not experienced anything like that in my life.

The last couple of days I have been reading 1 Corinthians 8 and 9 for my devotional time. I never really understood how chapter 9 fit. For that matter, I've never understood a lot of how different pieces of the Bible fit together. But in the larger scheme of things, Paul's assertion about the rights of an apostle, and more importantly how he has forgone those rights (9:12 ff) is an example for the Corinthians about laying down our rights in favor of love and sacrifice for the furtherance of the gospel. I would love to write more, but it's bedtime and I still want to read a little more.

August 16, 2010
Today's reading is 1 Corinthians 8:1-6. Knowledge is the source of pride. Love is the source of sacrifice. So if I think I know something, it is proof that I actually do not know as I ought to know. But if I love God, if I revere Him, if I find my highest pleasure in Him, if I seek to commune with Him, that is proof that I am known by Him. The cross references for 8:3b are all about being known by God before the foundations of the world or birth and even spiritual birth (I think). That's the trouble with reading over something quickly. I have read over that many times and never made the connection in this context about loving God being proof of being known by Him.

As pertains to idols, I still think back to the passage(s) where it is made plain: how can we be the descendants of metal, wood or other inanimate objects. Where are those gods? They are false. So to be concerned about it would be superstitious once you have the knowledge that they are "nothing." But to the new believer I can imagine it would be very painful. MacArthur speaks of their conscience being violated. He says that the results are fear, shame and guilt (The MacArthur Study Bible). I can speak with personal experience there. Sometimes I have thoughts that enter my mind. I don't know exactly where they come from. The source of many I am certain is the garbage I used to watch on televisions and movies. Still more is garbage that I take in from the current events of the world around me. I'm not sure about the balance. The Bible talks about the wicked things that proceed forth from a man and it by those things he is defiled, not by the food he takes in (applicable here, I think - that is Mt. 15:15-20). I wish I had more time to look at that. But it is now time for me to go to bed.

This is a very challenging part of the day for me. It is very common for me to stay up until the last possible moments where I get the bare minimum amount of sleep possible. But that is very weak and is evidence of a character defect. So I humbly ask God to take that character defect away. I'm not sure if it is fear, control, or what. I'm not super concerned about identifying it, more concerned about it going away.

This is me hanging from part of the Blowing Rock in NC. Not a whole lot else to say about this right now.